All of the ideas I have of fixing myself, improving myself, purifying myself are the core of my problem. These are illusions, or misunderstandings of the true nature of my reality. Every time I move in the direction of improvement rather than following my inspiration and my natural change, I strengthen the belief that I am separate, less than, and imperfect.
These states of mind increase my anxiety, my doubt and my need to over-analyze. They force me to compare myself to others who seemingly have found that elusive enlightenment. In this state of mind, I look outside myself in order to see who I am and how I am doing on the path. I create a karma that requires me to experience my perceived deficiencies through pain and suffering – mine and others.
The separation is not real. I am whole. I am grateful. I am perfect as I am. I am always learning, growing and I am meant to use my life to create. I will never stop evolving. The perfection I am realizing is not the world’s idea of perfection. There is no attainment involved. I am holding myself back with my belief in my inadequacy. I have a whole host of beliefs that will keep me imprisoned in the idea that what I need is in this world. My addiction, attachment and sorrow all come from my belief that I am this small and imperfect body. If I define myself by the world’s standards of perfection, I am in a box of fear.
When I no longer seek to find myself in the world, I am free to be wholly who I am in the moment.
I am free to live.
I am freeing myself from the karmic negativity that comes with these beliefs.
I am not gaslighting myself into a state of artificial positivity. When I see my fear, I work through it. I challenge my thinking. I work to let go of my need to hold myself back. It sometimes takes time, but I am tenacious, courageous and brutally honest with myself. I am going home. I am love. Now and always. ♥️
Joy 😊
IMPORTANT TO ME: I never want our use of words to separate us.
Whatever you call your source. God, Goddess, Spirit, Soul, Love, Mother Earth…..whatever, I honor your choice and I honor the choice of others. For me, there are many doors to our highest expressions.
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